Who are you committed to?

Towards the end of 2011, God really began showing me areas in my life that I needed to work on. One of the areas specifically was keeping my commitments. The thing with me is that I loveeee helping people and doing things and being sociable. But sometimes, okay most of the time, I spread myself too thin and I have to back out on one of my commitments. I am tired of making excuses. My commitment resolution runs deeper than just being somewhere when I say I will be. Its about turning everything I have over to God and letting Him rule my life. I am nothing without Him and I when I try to do things on my own, I fail miserably.

Tonight at Crosswind Church, the main text came out of Philippians chapter 3. The verses that really stuck out to me when I looked at them more and more were these:

12 I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. 13 Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward - to Jesus. 14 I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back. 15 So let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision - you'll see it yet!

I LOVE how plain The Message Bible is. I love how Paul pointed out that he wasn’t an expert, but he knew the goal and what God had in store for him. I know that God has plans for my life and over the past few weeks I’ve seen a shifting in the seasons in my life. I know that God is doing something in me for a reason and I want to run and finish this race but I know that I can only do it with God right beside me. And I can’t be double minded because all that will do is blur my vision.

Its not easy to change things in your life. Just because you make a list of resolutions doesn’t mean you are going to follow all of them every day and never mess up. Will I break a commitment in 2012? I’m sure I will. But out of all of my resolutions, this is one that means the most. To me, it matters the most. I’m running and I’m not looking back.

2012 Resolutions

Well, since its a start of a new year, I figured I would post a resolution blog just like other bloggers I’ve seen so far!

My 2012 resolutions are:

1. Stick with my one-year Bible readings.
2. Save money (and work hard on my school loans)
3. Travel to places I haven’t been before
4. Read more books
5. Relax more and not overbook my schedule so much
6. Stick with working out at least 4 times a week

I think that my resolutions are good ones that can be easy and hard at the same time. Some are important to me more than others, but I hope I can stick with all of them.

Here’s to a great 2012! :)

25.

It has been almost a year since I blogged. I sometimes forget I have one, but I’d like to try and keep up with this, even if its just for myself.

This past year has been a year of learning and change. Family dynamics have changed, I got a new job and I feel that I have changed a lot as a whole. When I was a kid, I thought that my life would be different when I turned 25. I imagined myself married, with children, and a beautiful home. For most of the people my age, that is where they are right now. While me, on the other hand, have walked down a different path for the time being. The Lord has taught me so much about who I am and who He has called me to be. He has wanted to keep me to Himself a little longer than other people. And I’m really okay with that.

There are some days that I wake up thinking, what is the Lord doing? Why am I in this season and when will it end? Currently in my life, I feel like I am approaching a crossroad. And I’m not sure that this next step in my life is going to be perfectly clear like other times in the past. I realize that I haven’t always been true to the calling that God has on my life. I want so badly to please everyone in my life, that some times I forget the most important person in my life. God. He has shown me so much grace and mercy over my 25 years, and I haven’t deserved a single bit of it.

I am thankful for these seasons. Seasons where you are uncomfortable and know that something is changing right around the corner. Seasons where God takes you by the hand and tells you that He has more for you than where you are right now. I was called for more than what I am living for. So much is going on in this world right now, that we are uncertain of so many things. But one thing we can always be certain of is that He is God and He always has a plan that is greater than our understanding. He will cover us in His perfect peace and we can rest in His unfailing love.

Lord, help us to see You and see You working in our lives. In the seasons of our lives that we wish we weren’t in, help us to know that Your ways are higher than ours. Help us to trust in Your unfailing love and perfect peace.

Surface

The past few months have been a real growing experience for me. I have been stretched and pulled by the Lord. It hasn't been easy, I can promise you that. Its been a difficult process but I know that God has given me the strength to really make it through this season in my life. I know that I've probably used my friends more than I should and I have a lot to make up for when I am out of this season of shaping and growing.

I really think that the Lord brings to surface things in our lives that need to change no matter how ugly they have to come up. Ya know? I know that I have a lot of immaturity to work through...(as hard as that is to admit). I still need to realize that being an adult means that you won't always get what you want, when you want it. Its a process. I dont have my parents, like when I was 5, giving me everything I want and thats okay. I know that when things come up and I throw a fit and get upset, that its the Lord reminding me, "Uh, Jenn....here is another thing to work on". I'm not perfect, nor will I ever be, but it doesn't give me the right to act like a complete idiot when I don't get what I want.

This is for all my friends that I've used and abused along the way. I know I havent always been the greatest friend over the past year and I'm sorry.

I am posting this so that everyone knows that I have realized where the change needs to come from. Thank you Lord, for surfacing my junk.

Impact

I was going through some old pictures on Facebook and I decided to share some good ones with you all.

These were all great times for sure. I know that anyone that has come into my life up until now has touched me in some way. Some people are still in my life and will always be. Others came for a reason and time and I am thankful for our time together. Wherever you may be now, just know that you have changed my life in some way. Whether it was simple or something drastic. ♥

2010

I haven't posted in a while, so I thought I would just do a little update. I finished all my graduate classes. It feels very good to be finished. This year so far has been good. I know that the Lord is going to do great things in my life this year and I am very excited. I had my first stretching experience last night when I spoke on Worship for youth at my church. It was great and the Lord really helped me.

Well, thats all for now.

ps. i love and miss my P*stars!

"If it wasn't hard everyone would do it. It's the hard that makes it great."

It's not always easy to take the hard road. When the Lord challenges us to move to a new place in our life, its called a challenge for a reason. I can't really explain in words how I have been feeling lately. Its an uncomfortable feeling. I feel like the Lord is trying to make a shift in my life but its been really hard for me. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or if I'm making it difficult for God to get through to me. I want so badly to be in the Lord's will. I have so many dreams and aspirations and I truly believe the Lord gave me certain passions and desires for a reason. Its my calling. Its my life.

I feel that the title of this blog really says it all. (Which was inspired by a good friend of mine) If it wasn't hard everyone would do it. Its the hard that makes it great! I know that when I get to the end of this season of my life, I will look back and appreciate the lessons that the Lord taught me. Even though some were taught while I was kicking and screaming.

I don't want to take the easy road, ya know? I want to know that when its all said and done, I did everything I could. I challenged myself. I took the narrow path as opposed to the wide.