30 things to do before I'm 30.

I was talking with a friend of mine recently about creating a "Bucket List"...you know, the list of everything you want to do before you die? I've been wanting to write one, but I always feel like they are morbid in nature. So I decided as I am anxiously (yeah right) awaiting 30, I will make a list of 30 things to do before I'm 30.

I have some ideas of things I'd like to add to list...but I am going to be brainstorming over the next few days to complete my list. I have 28 months until I'm 30 (yeesh) and would like to do something every month before it! I'll blog my experiences and things as I go along. I'm looking forward to great things ahead within the next 28 months!

Happy Monday!

Living Greater

Well, its been quite some time since my last blog post. A lot of changes and adventures since January. Updates?

My home church, Brooklyn COG changed our name to Pathway Church of God and launched a new site in the county area. Its been an adventure and many challenges have come from it, but a lot of great things have come from it. We launched "Belong Groups" as our form of small groups for our church and a way to keep everyone connected somewhere. They have been amazing and life changing.

I got a new job recently and now work at University of Maryland, Baltimore as an Academic Coordinator. I really enjoy my new job and the people I work with. It is completely different from UMUC outside of the fact I still work in higher education, and I LOVE it.

I moved to federal hill in Baltimore the end of August and live with an old co-worker. Its been an adventure but living in the city is so fun! I am looking forward to the new experiences and living on my own again. (Not looking forward to the parking tickets that I am sure I will get.)

I think that's all the updates for now...so onto what I originally decided to post about.

Currently, in my young adult small group, we are reading the book "Greater" by Steven Furtick. It has been an awesome and challenging experience at the same time. I love listening to Steven Furtick's podcasts and enjoy learning about Elevation Church. This book has really changed my view on life and my calling in a radical way.

As Christians, we are called to live greater. In the Bible, Jesus Himself told us in John 14 that if we have faith, we will do even greater things than Him. (John 14:12-13) Really? Greater than Jesus? This book breaks down this concepts and shows us that we do not need to live the same old, every day life until Jesus comes back. Everyday we need to strive to live up to the calling that God has placed on our lives.

Over the beginning chapters of this book, we are introduced to the story of Elijah and Elisha. When Elijah came to Elisha to transfer his anointing onto his life, Elisha took it and ran with it. Not only did he accept the calling immediately, he burned the plows that he had been using for his job. Elisha was called to be something more than someone who tends oxen 7 days a week. Through this book, I have personally been challenged to live for something greater.

Faith is the foundation to living a greater life. We can be called to do something, but if we don't put our faith in God that He will lead and guide us, we will fall quickly. Last night before I went to bed, I was reading chapter 5 of "Greater" which is called digging ditches. This is where Elisha performs his first large miracle. (2 Kings 3). Israel is in a major drought and the army is fighting against the Moabites and they cannot continue to fight without water. King Jehoshaphat asks Elisha to ask God for help. The Lord tells the kings to have the people dig ditches and he would send the rain. This will show their supernatural faith. They would get their miracle, but they had to work for it. The people of Israel dug the ditches all night and the next morning, water arrived as God had promised.

Wow. This helps remind me that even though God may promise things to us, we still have to use our faith and work for it. We cannot just sit back and everything will be given to us by God. Sometimes God works that way, but most of the time, He wants to know that we are willing to pick up a shovel and dig some ditches.

I am entering a season in my life that will require a lot of ditch digging. I am excited that God has allowed me to walk the path I am about to begin and I cannot wait to share it when I am able to!

Don't be afraid to live greater.

Who are you committed to?

Towards the end of 2011, God really began showing me areas in my life that I needed to work on. One of the areas specifically was keeping my commitments. The thing with me is that I loveeee helping people and doing things and being sociable. But sometimes, okay most of the time, I spread myself too thin and I have to back out on one of my commitments. I am tired of making excuses. My commitment resolution runs deeper than just being somewhere when I say I will be. Its about turning everything I have over to God and letting Him rule my life. I am nothing without Him and I when I try to do things on my own, I fail miserably.

Tonight at Crosswind Church, the main text came out of Philippians chapter 3. The verses that really stuck out to me when I looked at them more and more were these:

12 I'm not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. 13 Friends, don't get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I've got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward - to Jesus. 14 I'm off and running, and I'm not turning back. 15 So let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision - you'll see it yet!

I LOVE how plain The Message Bible is. I love how Paul pointed out that he wasn’t an expert, but he knew the goal and what God had in store for him. I know that God has plans for my life and over the past few weeks I’ve seen a shifting in the seasons in my life. I know that God is doing something in me for a reason and I want to run and finish this race but I know that I can only do it with God right beside me. And I can’t be double minded because all that will do is blur my vision.

Its not easy to change things in your life. Just because you make a list of resolutions doesn’t mean you are going to follow all of them every day and never mess up. Will I break a commitment in 2012? I’m sure I will. But out of all of my resolutions, this is one that means the most. To me, it matters the most. I’m running and I’m not looking back.

2012 Resolutions

Well, since its a start of a new year, I figured I would post a resolution blog just like other bloggers I’ve seen so far!

My 2012 resolutions are:

1. Stick with my one-year Bible readings.
2. Save money (and work hard on my school loans)
3. Travel to places I haven’t been before
4. Read more books
5. Relax more and not overbook my schedule so much
6. Stick with working out at least 4 times a week

I think that my resolutions are good ones that can be easy and hard at the same time. Some are important to me more than others, but I hope I can stick with all of them.

Here’s to a great 2012! :)

25.

It has been almost a year since I blogged. I sometimes forget I have one, but I’d like to try and keep up with this, even if its just for myself.

This past year has been a year of learning and change. Family dynamics have changed, I got a new job and I feel that I have changed a lot as a whole. When I was a kid, I thought that my life would be different when I turned 25. I imagined myself married, with children, and a beautiful home. For most of the people my age, that is where they are right now. While me, on the other hand, have walked down a different path for the time being. The Lord has taught me so much about who I am and who He has called me to be. He has wanted to keep me to Himself a little longer than other people. And I’m really okay with that.

There are some days that I wake up thinking, what is the Lord doing? Why am I in this season and when will it end? Currently in my life, I feel like I am approaching a crossroad. And I’m not sure that this next step in my life is going to be perfectly clear like other times in the past. I realize that I haven’t always been true to the calling that God has on my life. I want so badly to please everyone in my life, that some times I forget the most important person in my life. God. He has shown me so much grace and mercy over my 25 years, and I haven’t deserved a single bit of it.

I am thankful for these seasons. Seasons where you are uncomfortable and know that something is changing right around the corner. Seasons where God takes you by the hand and tells you that He has more for you than where you are right now. I was called for more than what I am living for. So much is going on in this world right now, that we are uncertain of so many things. But one thing we can always be certain of is that He is God and He always has a plan that is greater than our understanding. He will cover us in His perfect peace and we can rest in His unfailing love.

Lord, help us to see You and see You working in our lives. In the seasons of our lives that we wish we weren’t in, help us to know that Your ways are higher than ours. Help us to trust in Your unfailing love and perfect peace.

Surface

The past few months have been a real growing experience for me. I have been stretched and pulled by the Lord. It hasn't been easy, I can promise you that. Its been a difficult process but I know that God has given me the strength to really make it through this season in my life. I know that I've probably used my friends more than I should and I have a lot to make up for when I am out of this season of shaping and growing.

I really think that the Lord brings to surface things in our lives that need to change no matter how ugly they have to come up. Ya know? I know that I have a lot of immaturity to work through...(as hard as that is to admit). I still need to realize that being an adult means that you won't always get what you want, when you want it. Its a process. I dont have my parents, like when I was 5, giving me everything I want and thats okay. I know that when things come up and I throw a fit and get upset, that its the Lord reminding me, "Uh, Jenn....here is another thing to work on". I'm not perfect, nor will I ever be, but it doesn't give me the right to act like a complete idiot when I don't get what I want.

This is for all my friends that I've used and abused along the way. I know I havent always been the greatest friend over the past year and I'm sorry.

I am posting this so that everyone knows that I have realized where the change needs to come from. Thank you Lord, for surfacing my junk.

Impact

I was going through some old pictures on Facebook and I decided to share some good ones with you all.

These were all great times for sure. I know that anyone that has come into my life up until now has touched me in some way. Some people are still in my life and will always be. Others came for a reason and time and I am thankful for our time together. Wherever you may be now, just know that you have changed my life in some way. Whether it was simple or something drastic. ♥

2010

I haven't posted in a while, so I thought I would just do a little update. I finished all my graduate classes. It feels very good to be finished. This year so far has been good. I know that the Lord is going to do great things in my life this year and I am very excited. I had my first stretching experience last night when I spoke on Worship for youth at my church. It was great and the Lord really helped me.

Well, thats all for now.

ps. i love and miss my P*stars!

"If it wasn't hard everyone would do it. It's the hard that makes it great."

It's not always easy to take the hard road. When the Lord challenges us to move to a new place in our life, its called a challenge for a reason. I can't really explain in words how I have been feeling lately. Its an uncomfortable feeling. I feel like the Lord is trying to make a shift in my life but its been really hard for me. I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or if I'm making it difficult for God to get through to me. I want so badly to be in the Lord's will. I have so many dreams and aspirations and I truly believe the Lord gave me certain passions and desires for a reason. Its my calling. Its my life.

I feel that the title of this blog really says it all. (Which was inspired by a good friend of mine) If it wasn't hard everyone would do it. Its the hard that makes it great! I know that when I get to the end of this season of my life, I will look back and appreciate the lessons that the Lord taught me. Even though some were taught while I was kicking and screaming.

I don't want to take the easy road, ya know? I want to know that when its all said and done, I did everything I could. I challenged myself. I took the narrow path as opposed to the wide.

hello blog world. its been a few months since I've blogged, so I decided to go ahead and post today. There isn't really much going on right now. I just go to work everyday, come home, go to the gym and then hang out until bedtime. I really need to find a hobby or something else to occupy my time other than napping! haha!

I did join the choir at the church I'm attending here in Baltimore. You should be proud. :) It was a big step. I really do want to get involved though as much as I can. I think thats what I'm missing so much from being in Cleveland. I was constantly doing something, all the time. But since I've been home, I haven't done much of anything! Oh well. Hopefully that will all change soon.

Colby is coming to visit this weekend. He is interviewing for the Youth Pastor job at the church I attend here in Baltimore. It should be a good and eventful weekend. I'm also getting my hair done on Saturday...and I am so excited! I love getting my hair did! ha!

Hmm...what else is going on? Kim is coming to visit in a few weeks! So that will be fun! And I am making plans to go see Tiff very soon! Its been too long! i miss her a whole lot! Chelsea starts high school on Monday which is SO weird! I've been out of high school for 6 years...yeesh I'm old! haha! Tomorrow night is freshman orientation and I'm taking her since our parents are out of town for vacation.

I only have 3 more grad classes left and I will have a Masters degree. Its so exciting and crazy at the same time. Who would've thought I would get my Masters?! I just can't wait to use it and start my own company!! Hopefully 2010 will be a great year for new beginnings!! I can't wait!

Well, I think thats all. If anything exciting happens, I will blog again!

give someone a hug today :)

One step closer.

Do people blog everyday? Ha! I'm not really sure. My life isn't all that interesting to blog everyday. Today is Tuesday, woo hoo! Just a few days closer to the weekend. :)

I had a great weekend! Friday I relaxed and spent the evening at home, Saturday I had a baby shower for Miranda at my house and Sunday I had Tyler's graduation party to go to. Lots of parties, lots of friends/family, and lots of great times!

I have a drive lately to really strive in my calling and my future goals. I know that God has something in store for my life and I don't want to sit still and become complacent while waiting for everything to come to pass. I am eager to go to the Women's conference in FL in about a week or so. I know that the Lord has wonderful things in store for all of us during the weekend. I am expecting a life changing moment in my own life. I have begun to prepare myself for that weekend already!

I only have 4 more classes left in my Masters! Its so exciting! I can't believe how fast it has flown by. I must admit, I've slacked some in this class that I'm currently in...but I have started to kick my own butt. :)

Well, I think thats all the up-to-date information in my current life.

Life is ever changing. I know that I may not be where I want to be today, but I am one step closer than I was yesterday.

My New Season.

Well, I haven't blogged in some time. I am no longer living in Cleveland but now I am back home in Maryland for a season. I've been home for about 2 months now, but it hasn't been a walk in the park.

I love my family and I am so thankful that I am able to be around them everyday because I haven't been in home in nearly 5 years. Its a transition though, like any location change would be. I have to get used to living with my parents again and have certain rules I must follow by being under their roof once again. 

Being home has been hard in more ways then one. I miss my church terribly and I miss all my friends as well. When you leave a place and come back after 5 years, you can't expect it not to change, ya know? I've had lonely days and I've had really great days. I've had times where I've been on the mountain top with the Lord and I've had days where I am in the bottom of the pit with the devil. 

I had two pretty down days last week and I allowed the devil to defeat me. But Saturday night, I started doing my devotion again in the Beth Moore book, "Get out of that Pit" and wow did God do a number on me that night?! I was reading a chapter about when you slip into a pit yourself and God just blew my mind. He revealed so much stuff to me and really encouraged me! I truly believe that I am changed. I went to church Sunday morning, and I believe that I found the church of my home season. Ironically, its the church that I was baptized in as a child. (Oh, the ways of the Lord.)

I'm not saying that I will never have another down day in this season. I just feel as if I've gotten over one hurdle in this journey so far. (With many more to go I'm sure...) God is faithful. I am forever grateful for His love, mercy, and faithfulness to me. Even the times that I didn't deserve any of it.

I'm hopefully going to keep up this blog to show the transition and my season.

Psalms 42:5

new year. new start.

Well, I am back in the USA. I spent the last week traveling throughout London and Ireland with two of my very best friends. It was a great experience. Seeing places and things I've never seen before, experiencing a different way of life, and loving it all. Its definitely good to be home though. It helps me to learn to appreciate the little things, like ice for example. haha!

But seriously, I have come home to a new year. I can't believe its 2009 already! So crazy! This year I have new plans for my life. I know every year people make resolutions for the year and they hardly ever keep them. I fall into that category as well, but I really want this year to be different. This morning my Pastor spoke about carrying the presence of the Lord with us everywhere we go and really being hungry for it everyday this year. This is where I want to be as well. 2009 is going to bring new things for me. I am going to be successful and draw closer to the Lord everyday.  I am ready for a new start and a new view of my life. I want more compassion, more love for the Lord and people, and I want to serve others even more.

I am ready for something new as well as a new me. What about you?

Speak it.

Words have always had an effect on me. For as long as I can remember my entire attitude can change based upon something someone said to me. I know the old saying "actions speak louder then words", but for me, they don't. 

Whenever I think something about myself and then finally say it, good or bad, I take it to my heart and thats where it will stay. When I get up in the morning and start speaking death and bad thoughts about myself, I know the exact day I am going to have already. But when I am speaking positive things over my life, it is the complete opposite. 

the summit.

"Life always gets harder near the summit." Who knew such powerful words could come from just a little fortune cookie? The word summit is defined as "the highest point of a hill or mountain." I am standing in the midst of my summit. Its been getting harder for a while now, but at this very moment I can feel the pressure, the pain, and the difficulty of the climb. There are days where I want to give up and throw it all away and run back down the comfortable valley at the bottom. But today, I want to run hard. I want to continue climbing this mountain in my life. Because I know that when I reach the top of it, I will realize the worth of the fight.

Its good to know though, that when times are the hardest, you are on a verge of a breakthrough moment. The times where the enemy is attacking you the most because he wants you to give up and stop climbing. The days that are so long and you wonder what the heck you are even doing? Its in those times that we need to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps, encourage ourselves and push harder. The Lord never promised us an easy road. In order to get where He wants us, we have to go through lessons and seasons in our lives. 

Rest assured that as things begin to get more difficult that the Lord has not forgotten about you and the plan He has you here to fulfill. Keep trucking up that mountain. I've heard the view from the top is amazing. :)

life right now.

Well, its the middle of August. How weird. This year is seriously flying right by! I am almost finished my first grad class. All my friends that are still at Lee are getting back into town. Its still weird to me to live in Cleveland and not be going back to Lee. I miss it a lot lately. But I'm excited about what is to come in my life in the next few months.

I am having to trust God again for a job. I am almost in the exact place that I was in January when I first moved back. I am having to trust God again for the same things. I, along with some of my friends, seem to be walking through a wilderness in my life. I want to come out of it, but there is a reason that I'm still here. The Lord has been teaching me things over the past 8 months, but there are certain lessons that I've been really stubborn to learn. I don't want to take for granted what the Lord is trying to do in my life right now. This is a time of preparation for what the Lord has me to do in the future. I can't continue to miss what He is trying to tell me right now.

I'm sure some of you reading this may be walking through the wilderness too. And it can be such a frustrating time because its like you're going no where. When we feel like that, the Lord is still doing things in us that we can't see. Don't despise this time. Try to look at the situation with spiritual eyes, not the flesh. The Lord will bring you out of the wilderness. The time we spend there is dependent upon how quickly we allow the Lord to teach us.

Threshing Floor

Have you ever thought about the significance of the threshing floor in the bible? Tonight I was reading some out of the book of Ruth and in Ch. 3, Ruth goes and lays at the feet of Boaz on the threshing floor. I've heard this story many times before and I never really thought to look at the significance of the threshing floor. So I decided to do some research on it. Everywhere I looked i goes back to the relationship between the Bride and the Bridegroom. In Genesis it was used as a place of mourning, in 2 Samuel Uzzah was struck dead on it because he touched the Ark of Covenant, and then later on in 2 Samuel David built the temple on that same threshing floor. And of course in Ruth(3:7-9), it is where Ruth laid at Boaz' feet and she later became his wife. This is an example of the spiritual communion that we are to have with God. The threshing floor was also a place of worship, a place to separate the wheat from the chaff. When we enter the threshing floor to worship the Lord, we allow him to separate the wheat from the chaff in our own lives and allow Him to make the changes necessary. 

Every time you enter into worship think back to the threshing floor and allow the Lord to separate the things in your life that shouldn't be there anymore. 

My Declaration.

So this is for me more than anyone else who may read this.
I am sick and tired of letting the devil defeat me in so many areas of my life. 
I am not alone, nor will I be alone for the rest of my life. I have people who love me and care for and about me. Just because I don't see them everyday, doesn't mean they aren't there. 
I am beautiful. No matter what this crazy world may consider to be beautiful, I am beautiful. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. The Lord created me to be me. Weird quirks and all.
I refuse to allow the devil to lie to me anymore.
I refuse to be depressed or sad or let my emotions and feelings determine my attitude. 
I am blessed beyond measure. No matter what my financial situation may be currently, I am blessed. I have a beautiful home, clothes on my back, and I definitely ain't hurting for food! (haha!) 
The Lord is my strength. I will not be defeated. Right now, I may be a little wounded in battle, but the battle isn't over yet. I'm ready to fight now. I want to fight back and hard. The Lord has a reason for everything I am walking through. And He said He would never put more on us than we can bare. I can win this. With the Lord's help, I most certainly can.
Like I said, this is mainly for me. A reminder that I am more than a conquerer. Devil, you better watch out. Cause I am not playing anymore

learning process.

I find myself in a place I've never been before. A place that is so unfamilar, that it hurts. An no matter how hard I fight to get out of this place, I'm still here. After many tears and many words with the Lord, I finally realized something last night. The Lord is obviously trying to teach me something. If I would just sit still and stop complaining about how bad my life is(or at least I think so), I could get through this hard process a little faster. Sometimes we spend so much time telling the Lord what we need and what we want, that we miss out on what He's trying to say to us.
The Lord knows our hearts. He knows what our innermost desires are. And because we are His children, He wants to give us our desires. But in His time frame, not ours. As humans we want everything here and now and no wait time. Its our culture to want everything quickly. Food, driving time, even times with the Lord. But its in the waiting process that you really learn from the Lord. You are able to hear His voice and really learn to love and be loved by your Father.

This is a kind of declaration for me. I don't want to hate the spot that I'm in. I want to learn as much as I can during this time so that I can help others in the future who may walk through the same things I am right now. The Lord gives us the amount of strength that we need to face the trials in our life. I am right where the Lord wants me to be, give or take some mistakes that I've made, but I know the Lord has me here. He is trying to teach me something and I would much rather stop and try to learn from Him then fight anymore.

If you find yourself in a tough spot, a place you would love to get out of, just take a minute to stop and listen. The Lord is right in the midst of it all trying to teach you something. What you learn during this time is vital to who you will become.

L.O.V.E.

Love. We all want it and we all need it. Some give love away to easily while others hold onto it for dear life. Some people fall in love early on in life, while others must wait longer. Through it all though, we sometimes forget the true giver of love. The lover of our souls. He is what love really is.

Many of us seek a tangible love. Something we can see and feel everyday. And during the seeking process, we forget our original love. The Lord loves us each so much that He gave His one and ONLY Son for us! (John 3:16). I know that we've all heard it in Sunday School, but hearing and believing are completely different. Before we are able to be loved by another human, we have to understand our Father's love for us. Its so deep and wide that being loved by another person doesn't even compare.

I find myself wanting to find love as most girls my age do. Its just that time where everyone around me is either dating, engaged or married. Its not a bad thing to wish for these things, but when my focus is more on a man's love than God's love, things begin to get blurry. My best friend really helped me understand what I was doing wrong. I have to understand the Lord's love for me before I will ever be able to love and be loved by a man. I have to be so in love with the Lord and complete in Him that if I'm never in another relationship with a man, my relationship with the Lord will fufill everything that I need.

I choose to fall back in love with my Father, the Lover of my soul. His love will never change or fade and He will never fail me.