Speak it.

Words have always had an effect on me. For as long as I can remember my entire attitude can change based upon something someone said to me. I know the old saying "actions speak louder then words", but for me, they don't. 

Whenever I think something about myself and then finally say it, good or bad, I take it to my heart and thats where it will stay. When I get up in the morning and start speaking death and bad thoughts about myself, I know the exact day I am going to have already. But when I am speaking positive things over my life, it is the complete opposite. 

the summit.

"Life always gets harder near the summit." Who knew such powerful words could come from just a little fortune cookie? The word summit is defined as "the highest point of a hill or mountain." I am standing in the midst of my summit. Its been getting harder for a while now, but at this very moment I can feel the pressure, the pain, and the difficulty of the climb. There are days where I want to give up and throw it all away and run back down the comfortable valley at the bottom. But today, I want to run hard. I want to continue climbing this mountain in my life. Because I know that when I reach the top of it, I will realize the worth of the fight.

Its good to know though, that when times are the hardest, you are on a verge of a breakthrough moment. The times where the enemy is attacking you the most because he wants you to give up and stop climbing. The days that are so long and you wonder what the heck you are even doing? Its in those times that we need to pick ourselves up by the bootstraps, encourage ourselves and push harder. The Lord never promised us an easy road. In order to get where He wants us, we have to go through lessons and seasons in our lives. 

Rest assured that as things begin to get more difficult that the Lord has not forgotten about you and the plan He has you here to fulfill. Keep trucking up that mountain. I've heard the view from the top is amazing. :)

life right now.

Well, its the middle of August. How weird. This year is seriously flying right by! I am almost finished my first grad class. All my friends that are still at Lee are getting back into town. Its still weird to me to live in Cleveland and not be going back to Lee. I miss it a lot lately. But I'm excited about what is to come in my life in the next few months.

I am having to trust God again for a job. I am almost in the exact place that I was in January when I first moved back. I am having to trust God again for the same things. I, along with some of my friends, seem to be walking through a wilderness in my life. I want to come out of it, but there is a reason that I'm still here. The Lord has been teaching me things over the past 8 months, but there are certain lessons that I've been really stubborn to learn. I don't want to take for granted what the Lord is trying to do in my life right now. This is a time of preparation for what the Lord has me to do in the future. I can't continue to miss what He is trying to tell me right now.

I'm sure some of you reading this may be walking through the wilderness too. And it can be such a frustrating time because its like you're going no where. When we feel like that, the Lord is still doing things in us that we can't see. Don't despise this time. Try to look at the situation with spiritual eyes, not the flesh. The Lord will bring you out of the wilderness. The time we spend there is dependent upon how quickly we allow the Lord to teach us.

Threshing Floor

Have you ever thought about the significance of the threshing floor in the bible? Tonight I was reading some out of the book of Ruth and in Ch. 3, Ruth goes and lays at the feet of Boaz on the threshing floor. I've heard this story many times before and I never really thought to look at the significance of the threshing floor. So I decided to do some research on it. Everywhere I looked i goes back to the relationship between the Bride and the Bridegroom. In Genesis it was used as a place of mourning, in 2 Samuel Uzzah was struck dead on it because he touched the Ark of Covenant, and then later on in 2 Samuel David built the temple on that same threshing floor. And of course in Ruth(3:7-9), it is where Ruth laid at Boaz' feet and she later became his wife. This is an example of the spiritual communion that we are to have with God. The threshing floor was also a place of worship, a place to separate the wheat from the chaff. When we enter the threshing floor to worship the Lord, we allow him to separate the wheat from the chaff in our own lives and allow Him to make the changes necessary. 

Every time you enter into worship think back to the threshing floor and allow the Lord to separate the things in your life that shouldn't be there anymore. 

My Declaration.

So this is for me more than anyone else who may read this.
I am sick and tired of letting the devil defeat me in so many areas of my life. 
I am not alone, nor will I be alone for the rest of my life. I have people who love me and care for and about me. Just because I don't see them everyday, doesn't mean they aren't there. 
I am beautiful. No matter what this crazy world may consider to be beautiful, I am beautiful. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. The Lord created me to be me. Weird quirks and all.
I refuse to allow the devil to lie to me anymore.
I refuse to be depressed or sad or let my emotions and feelings determine my attitude. 
I am blessed beyond measure. No matter what my financial situation may be currently, I am blessed. I have a beautiful home, clothes on my back, and I definitely ain't hurting for food! (haha!) 
The Lord is my strength. I will not be defeated. Right now, I may be a little wounded in battle, but the battle isn't over yet. I'm ready to fight now. I want to fight back and hard. The Lord has a reason for everything I am walking through. And He said He would never put more on us than we can bare. I can win this. With the Lord's help, I most certainly can.
Like I said, this is mainly for me. A reminder that I am more than a conquerer. Devil, you better watch out. Cause I am not playing anymore

learning process.

I find myself in a place I've never been before. A place that is so unfamilar, that it hurts. An no matter how hard I fight to get out of this place, I'm still here. After many tears and many words with the Lord, I finally realized something last night. The Lord is obviously trying to teach me something. If I would just sit still and stop complaining about how bad my life is(or at least I think so), I could get through this hard process a little faster. Sometimes we spend so much time telling the Lord what we need and what we want, that we miss out on what He's trying to say to us.
The Lord knows our hearts. He knows what our innermost desires are. And because we are His children, He wants to give us our desires. But in His time frame, not ours. As humans we want everything here and now and no wait time. Its our culture to want everything quickly. Food, driving time, even times with the Lord. But its in the waiting process that you really learn from the Lord. You are able to hear His voice and really learn to love and be loved by your Father.

This is a kind of declaration for me. I don't want to hate the spot that I'm in. I want to learn as much as I can during this time so that I can help others in the future who may walk through the same things I am right now. The Lord gives us the amount of strength that we need to face the trials in our life. I am right where the Lord wants me to be, give or take some mistakes that I've made, but I know the Lord has me here. He is trying to teach me something and I would much rather stop and try to learn from Him then fight anymore.

If you find yourself in a tough spot, a place you would love to get out of, just take a minute to stop and listen. The Lord is right in the midst of it all trying to teach you something. What you learn during this time is vital to who you will become.

L.O.V.E.

Love. We all want it and we all need it. Some give love away to easily while others hold onto it for dear life. Some people fall in love early on in life, while others must wait longer. Through it all though, we sometimes forget the true giver of love. The lover of our souls. He is what love really is.

Many of us seek a tangible love. Something we can see and feel everyday. And during the seeking process, we forget our original love. The Lord loves us each so much that He gave His one and ONLY Son for us! (John 3:16). I know that we've all heard it in Sunday School, but hearing and believing are completely different. Before we are able to be loved by another human, we have to understand our Father's love for us. Its so deep and wide that being loved by another person doesn't even compare.

I find myself wanting to find love as most girls my age do. Its just that time where everyone around me is either dating, engaged or married. Its not a bad thing to wish for these things, but when my focus is more on a man's love than God's love, things begin to get blurry. My best friend really helped me understand what I was doing wrong. I have to understand the Lord's love for me before I will ever be able to love and be loved by a man. I have to be so in love with the Lord and complete in Him that if I'm never in another relationship with a man, my relationship with the Lord will fufill everything that I need.

I choose to fall back in love with my Father, the Lover of my soul. His love will never change or fade and He will never fail me.